Golden Lines The Student News Site of St. Pius X Catholic High School Fri, 22 Nov 2019 14:45:45 -0600 en-US hourly 1 Photo Gallery: Foundation for Hospital Art Service Project Thu, 21 Nov 2019 20:53:11 +0000


Partnering with the Foundation for Hospital Art, the Theology Department organized a schoolwide service project on Wednesday, November 20. Students reported to the gym during their theology class period and painted pre-drawn canvas murals to be hung up in hospitals as a way to provide comfort, love, and happiness.

“This project layers in an aspect of mercy people don’t usually think about, that painting and art can actually help people who are in hospitals by exhibiting Christ’s love,” theology teacher Mrs. Lindsey Farrell said. “In theology we lecture all the time about service, so this gave us a chance to ‘walk the talk’ and become a living example of our curriculum.”

St. Pius X and the Foundation for Hospital Art have a long partnership, with the football team and faculty participating in numerous projects with the group several times over the past few years.

According to the foundation’s website, it was founded in 1984 and has worked with 1 million volunteers to donate more than 48,000 paintings to over 5,000 hospitals in 195 countries.


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Winter sports teams back in action Thu, 21 Nov 2019 20:35:09 +0000 Temperatures are dropping and leaves are falling, which means that the Golden Lion winter sports teams are back in action. Read the following previews to learn what you can expect from our basketball, swim and dive, and wrestling programs.


The basketball season tipped off for both varsity teams last night when they hosted Cherokee Bluff. Both teams won, the girls 44-20, and the boys 63-59.  

The boys’ team lost nine seniors from last season, which means there will be a lot of new faces on this year’s roster.  

“It will be fun to be able to start from scratch,” head coach Aaron Parr said about the team’s youth. “[We are looking forward to] the process of getting to know the team better, compete and showing them what it takes to win.”

They’ll look to the four seniors, Ellis Callaway, Nick Joiner, Tucker Kelly, and Asher Wagnon, to help provide leadership both on and off the court.

“Last year, we had several seniors that taught me how to win at the varsity level,” Kelly said. “This year, we have a lot of inexperienced guys on the team and many of them are looking to me and the other seniors for leadership. I take the responsibility to make sure our guys are locked in during practice and games. Many of our players don’t know how to win varsity games yet, but I think if this young team reaches its potential, we can beat any team in the state.”

Many of our players don’t know how to win varsity games yet, but I think if this young team reaches its potential, we can beat any team in the state.”

The Golden Lions have been dominant the past three seasons, which includes three region championships, two consecutive state runner-up titles, and an Elite Eight appearance.  This year’s team knows it will be hard to match that type of success, but they’re not doubting themselves.

“I think we’ll do better than people think we [will],”  said sophomore Eamonn Kenah, who is one of four underclassmen on the team.

The girls’ team is used to this type of inexperience because their roster has been predominantly made up of promising underclassmen the past few seasons. They lost two seniors from last year’s team and feature only two seniors again this year, Lauren Natsch and Wylie Sheridan, but they’re loaded with seven juniors who have seen plenty of playing time over the last two years.

Head coach Kyle Snipes said he’s most excited to see “how the team develops its personality and develops camaraderie.”

The players are also looking forward to the new season.

“I think we will do well with the new dynamics that we have formed over summer ball and pre-season,” sophomore Kate McBride said. “The new people we have picked up will help improve the team and make us better.”

Both teams will participate in tournaments during Thanksgiving break, and their next home games will be Tuesday, December 10 against Lovett.

Swim and Dive

“1, 2, 3, JUGULAR!”

The most aquatic of St. Pius X’s student-athletes are ready to fight their way back to the top of the podium, just like they did last season with the boys bringing home a state title and the girls finishing as state runner-up. The two teams are currently undefeated, beating both the Marist School and Henry W. Grady High School earlier this month.

With excited seniors and promising underclassmen, senior Riley Hendrix said she’s enthusiastic about the team. 

“I just love the way we’re coming together. It’s only been a few weeks, but I can really feel a bond forming. We’re so cohesive and have such a nice mix of people!” Hendrix exclaimed. 

The dive team shares similar sentiments. 

“I wouldn’t rather spend my last season diving with anyone else,” senior Camile Jackson said. 

With a bright future for the swim and dive team, math teacher and assistant swim coach Mrs. Katie Stilson has towering ambitions for the team this year. 

Instead of saying ‘1, 2, 3, LIONS,’ we say ‘1, 2, 3, JUGULAR,’ because when a lion kills their prey, they go straight for the jugular. It’s a fun tradition and gets us in the right mindset for the meet!”

“My major goal is for us to win state, obviously! I think that both our boys and girls could be legitimate contenders. But, my overall goal is to have everyone make personal bests and do the best that we can!” Coach Stilson said. 

Despite losing a hefty amount of “heavy hitters, future Olympians” and college athletes during last year’s graduation, Coach Stilson thinks that the team has “a really good crop of swimmers, and everyone is developing well.”

The swim and dive seniors definitely agree. 

“I think our current juniors and seniors can live up to the legacy that our graduates set, which will make us grow together as a team. They built a strong foundation for us,” senior swimmer Gabe Brogi said, “but now it’s our time to step into the leadership roles they’ve left.”

“Even though we’ve lost valuable people, the season is definitely looking up,” senior diver Jack Stockmeyer said. 

One secret to their success could be their unique team cheer. 

“Instead of saying ‘1, 2, 3, LIONS,’ we say ‘1, 2, 3, JUGULAR,’ because when a lion kills their prey, they go straight for the jugular,” Brogi explained. “It’s a fun tradition and gets us in the right mindset for the meet!”

They will face Greater Atlanta Christian School on Wednesday, December 5 and Lovett on Wednesday, December 13. 

“I’m so excited to see where the season takes us!” Jackson said. “I know we can handle our opponents.”


This year’s team is young with only one senior, Vincent Thomas. 

“I feel as if my previous three years have molded me into the leader I am now,” Thomas said. “Last year we had three seniors, but they were not necessarily vocal leaders, so I kind of stepped up to the plate last year to speak up and help out the younger guys.”

Despite their youth, they are still confident they can remain competitive this season. 

“I feel very good about the team this year,” jusion Zani Patasin said. “Although we are a young team, we have a lot of kids who I think can develop into good wrestlers over time.”

There are 11 freshmen on the team, so a lot of the work so far has been learning technique and basic knowledge about the sport. 

Wrestling practice is unlike any other practice you will have in any other sport, and over time the practices have a significant impact on your body.”

“So far, I feel pretty good about the team,” freshman Benjamin Freeman said. “The older guys and coaches have been very helpful in getting people to learn technique.”

Wrestling practice is tough and consists of many grueling workouts over the span of two and a half hours. Although these practices are hard, the wrestlers know that it’s helping to strengthen and prepare them for their matches. 

“Wrestling practice is unlike any other practice you will have in any other sport, and over time the practices have a significant impact on your body,” Patasin said. 

In addition to workouts, training for wrestling also includes paying meticulous attention to what you eat and cutting weight when necessary to meet the requirement for a weight class.

As junior Finn Shaw explained, “Practicing and watching what I eat is hard, but in the end, I know it’s worth it.”

“I have never really changed weight classes, but from watching my teammates do it I can tell you that it is killer on your body,” junior wrestler Joel Chatfield said.

The next match for the Golden Lions is a tournament on Saturday, November 23 at North Hall, and  they’ll host the St. Pius X Turkey Duals over Thanksgiving break on Wednesday, November 27.

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St. Pius X participates in its first virtual learning day Thu, 21 Nov 2019 16:00:46 +0000 It’s the end of January and a blizzard hits Atlanta, forcing St. Pius X to close for several days in a row. While this sounds like a dream come true for students and teachers, the situation can quickly turn into a nightmare when they learn that any additional school cancellations will have to be made up during future scheduled days off, such as teacher workdays, or, even worse, Spring Break. 

To prepare for scenarios such as this, St. Pius held its first-ever Virtual Day on Monday, November 4. For students this meant doing schoolwork in the comfort of their own homes or favorite coffee shops while teachers spent the day on campus ready to help students or answer any questions asked.

Virtual Day assignments were posted on PowerSchool Learning and went live at 8:00 am that Monday. Teachers had a lot of flexibility with the work they assigned, but they were instructed to plan something that would take the average student approximately 20 minutes to complete and that could be checked for completion. Assignments included watching brief videos and answering questions, posting on PowerSchool Learning discussion boards, and taking electronic quizzes. 

Students could choose when to complete their work, but all assignments had to be turned in no later than 3:00 pm. Those who didn’t turn in work received a zero for a grade and were also marked absent from that particular class.  

The structure of the day allowed students the flexibility to work at their own pace and take breaks as often as they wanted, all from the comfort of their own homes. 

“I liked it a lot because I finished all my work by 10:00 am,” sophomore Emalyn Yantis said. 

Senior Witt Hollensbe also enjoyed the day, and he took full advantage of being able to sleep in without waking up to an alarm before the sun was up.

“I loved the virtual day,” he said. “I woke up at 10:00 am, did my homework in a few hours, and then watched a whole season of Gossip Girl.” 

Most teachers also enjoyed Virtual Day because it gave them time to catch up on a lot of work at school. 

“It was good. Students did what they were supposed to do, and I got a workday out of it,” theology teacher Mr. Charles Hicks said. 

Spanish teacher Mr. Michael Abbott agreed, saying, “My students learned the same amount [as they would in class], and I got a lot of stuff done.”

Students and faculty were sent a survey a few days after Virtual Day, and the results were overwhelmingly positive. Some even commented that they’d like to see the school have it more regularly, even up to once a month.

Hollensbe said he would definitely support more Virtual Days in the future.

“I think it has a lot of potential to eliminate the redundancies we have during the school day,” he explained. “When moving at my own pace, I was able to work pretty quickly and not waste time doing things like moving between classes, waiting for instructions, or spending 45 minutes on a lunch period.”

Not everything went according to plan, however, as the technology aspect of the online learning day had some glitches. After intermittent hiccups for a few hours in the morning, PowerSchool Learning was back up and running for students to be able to complete all of their assigned work. Of course, some students still tried to take advantage of temporary problems.

The intermittent technical difficulties were somewhat frustrating for students and teachers, but the site was back up and running properly before lunchtime.

“I tried to use the website being down as an excuse to not do any of the work, but all my teachers could still see when any of us logged on and attempted [to access assignments] so my plans were foiled,” junior Chuck Long said. 

Even without the temporary glitches, some students said they’d rather be at school.

“I already can’t focus at school, let alone at home with all the distractions that come with it.” senior Paddy Gannon said.

“I just prefer to be taught in person so I can ask immediate questions and get immediate answers,” junior Rachel Grubbs said. “There’s just something about being in-person that I love about school.”

Journalism teacher Ms. Ashley Curlette said that although personal contact with students is better, Virtual Day is still a great alternative to use when needed.

“I’d much rather have a Virtual Day than have to make up school days,” she said. “Obviously face-to-face teaching with students is ideal, but this is a great substitute. Most of us have gotten feedback from our students about the day and learned what worked well and what didn’t. I think the whole process will be easier and more effective for everyone the more we do it.”

A second Virtual Day is planned for Monday, March 16. Should a major weather event strike between now and then, and schools are closed for an extended period of time, however, we may see another Virtual Day sooner rather than later.

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Simba Cup is back! Wed, 20 Nov 2019 21:54:51 +0000 Back by popular demand, the Simba Cup returns this week! After a three-year break, the event is back on campus and ready to unify the student body with some friendly competition. The theme for this year’s event is Kick out Cancer. 

Sponsored by the Student Council, the Simba Cup is a soccer tournament that features students from all grades competing in 5 vs. 5 games against each other.                            

“We are really excited to bring this back,” senior class president Henry Guynn said. “The Simba Cup serves as a great opportunity for students to get involved in the school and meet new people, and it is always a lot of fun for everyone.”

As opposed to previous Simba Cups, this year’s event has a theme: Kick out Cancer, which emphasizes the St. Pius X community’s support for anyone who has previously or is currently affected by cancer. 

The Student Council expects 17 teams to participate, and organizing such a large event requires a lot of work. Students play in the games, but teachers, such as Atlanta United fanatic and Latin teacher Matt Wineski, and members of the varsity soccer teams will help supervise and referee the games. 

“I’m looking forward to playing with my friends and have a good time,” senior Joe Castro said. “Soccer is my favorite sport to play and it’s supporting a good cause, so it’s a win-win.” 

“We won’t win, but I think we’ll turn a lot of heads,” junior Max Congrave said about his team’s chances of winning.

Other students are taking a more competitive approach to the tournament. 

“My team is ready to wipe out the competition. I am really hoping for the overall win!” senior Christa Brunner exclaimed. 

Senior Sam Kennedy showed up to school on Thursday wearing his blue game day polo because “It’s game day. We’re gonna dominate.” When asked about his soccer experience, Kennedy replied, “I played in 7th grade. And when I was 5. I’m ready.”

Whether you come for fun or competition, hopefully a little of both, we hope to see you playing or cheering on everyone on Thursday, November 21 at 3:30 pm on Seaver Field. Bring your A-game!

Annual Career Day introduces students to a variety of professions Thu, 14 Nov 2019 16:00:33 +0000

St. Pius X hosted Career Day on Friday, November 8, an annual event that invites members of the school community to speak about their professions with juniors and seniors. 

Students got to choose two presentation sessions to attend from a list of almost 40 different career fields, including aviation, nursing, law, fashion design, dentistry, and television broadcasting.

“The speakers were interesting and informative,” said senior Aggie Brewster, who attended biology and software development sessions. “I was able to learn more about a job that I knew nothing about.”

As a college preparatory school, Career Day is a valuable experience that encourages students to think about their future career paths, which is important as college looms around the corner.

Senior Margherita Ceccagnoli, who is interested in international business, said that she was most excited to see how passionate the speakers were about their career fields as well as learn more about the types of classes and internships she would need in college.

“I think it’s important to understand the path that I need to get on to get to where I want to be,” she said. 

It’s not what you learned from Career Day, it’s what you take away that you can later implement into our future professions. That itself is invaluable.”

The day was especially enjoyable to some seniors who already know what they want to pursue in the future. 

Senior Natalie Gresham, for example, wants to become a neonatologist. She’s known this was her calling since she was about three years old, and she participated in hospital internship programs over the summer to lay the groundwork for her career.

“I really enjoyed the surgery session because it made me consider what classes to take in college to prepare for my career,” she said.  

Senior Mollie Albert wants to be a psychiatrist, and on Career Day she was able to speak to a psychologist who furthered her interest in this area of study.

“During the psychology session, I realized how interested I am in how the brain functions and how I can help people in the future,” she explained. 

Senior John McKimmy wants to become a researcher in the pharmaceutical field, so he attended a session on clinical trials.

“I learned about the different phases of clinical trials and the thoroughness you have to take before releasing a drug to the public,” he said.  

Highlighting the importance of the day, senior Nicole Gresham said, “It’s not what you learned from Career Day, it’s what you take away that you can later implement into our future professions. That itself is invaluable.”

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“Debate and Tackle: Your favorite non-athletic sport” Wed, 13 Nov 2019 18:58:53 +0000 People have been perfecting the art of competitive talking for centuries. Historically, they’ve deliberated on the pressing issues of their time: What is consciousness? Is there a god? What does it mean to be human? Does the phone go in the left or the right pocket? 

Today, the speech and debate team continues this academic tradition.

The team participates in a debate format called Public Forum, in which two teams of three debaters spar over a given subject. The subject is usually fairly specific, like tariffs imposed on Mexican imports or American involvement in NATO, and they generally never stray into explicitly philosophical territory.

Each team is given a resolution to defend two months before the debate takes place. They have to research their assigned viewpoint and create a cogent argument when they face the other team. 

During the actual debate, the first speaker for each side presents an abstract of their argument. What follows is a series of responses made by each team to their opponent’s position, with crossfires in between. 

The debate has a “back and forth” and generally flows “like a tennis match,” according to senior Witt Hollensbe, who has debated since freshman year.

The debates have one judge mediating for the first few rounds, then three or more for the following rounds. Debaters can spend hours preparing for their competition, but the judge ultimately determines the winner. 

Having the outcome of a debate determined by one person seems like it could compromise its integrity, but the competitors think it adds depth to the strategy. The point of a debate “is to change someone’s opinion [anyway],” Hollensbe said. 

Senior debate team member Joey Tarnowski thinks that having a judge be the arbiter of a debate is likely the best solution, since “there is no objective way to determine who won a debate.” 

Competitors even consider their judge’s inclinations for their debate strategy. Newer judges tend to be more easily swayed by rhetoric and pathos while seasoned ones are generally more focused on technique.

Senior debater Austin Lalomia, for example, said that he makes arguments more holistically as opposed to using specific, technical language or exposing logical fallacies, a sentiment echoed by Tarnowski. Hollensbe said that he even watches the judge’s face for changes in expression when he makes a point.

Hollensbe said he was drawn to the speech and debate because he is “very political, extremely opinionated, loud, and rude.” Lalomia had a similar reason, saying that he enjoys debating because it provides a space to “talk about political issues safely” and that “the competitive aspect of debate makes it easier to digest and more engaging to participate in public discourse.”

 The speech and debate team’s next competition is coming up in December, when they’ll have the chance to earn even more trophies and accolades. Perhaps the biggest accomplishment of the season was when Tarnowski was named an All-American by the National Speech and Debate Association, which is earned by under one percent of 141,000 debate participants.


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Senior student-athletes sign to continue playing careers in college Wed, 13 Nov 2019 18:34:40 +0000

Four seniors signed their national letters of intent after school on Wednesday, November 13 in the Young Center Auditorium. With dozens of classmates, parents, teachers, coaches, and administrators present, each student-athlete was recognized for the contributions they’ve made to their individual sports over the past three seasons.

Two more signing events are scheduled for the student-athletes who have yet to commit, one in February and one in April. Congratulations to our Golden Lions!

Caroline Gray (soccer) – University of Notre Dame

Riley Hendrix (swimming) – Tulane University

Morgan Vaden (cross country and track) – University of Georgia

Asher Wagnon (lacrosse) – Furman University

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Golden Lion Network excites players, fans with pre-game videos Tue, 12 Nov 2019 15:18:03 +0000 While many people pay attention to the athletes highlighted in Friday pre-game videos released throughout the school year, most overlook the creators behind the footage. 

The Golden Lion Network staff, led by senior Marcellus Burwell and sophomore Mason Victory as well their faculty moderators, Mr. Andrew Mabini and Mrs. Meggan Wilcauskus, senior , create the videos we all enjoy. 

According to Burwell, the staff has to start by compiling video footage of football players at games and practices. They attend all of the games on Fridays as well as most practices in the week to collect the best shots for their videos. 

Burwell said each video takes a week to edit, “the schedule starts on Monday where we have a rough draft due, and then on Tuesday we submit it to Mr. Mabini for reviewing,” he explained. “On Wednesday we get our revisions back and go make the proper edits to the video and add effects to the video. Finally, we turn it in by the end of the day on Thursday.”   

There are many challenges Burwell and the rest of the staff run into during this process, the biggest being copyright issues. Because the St. Pius School Instagram regularly posts the pre-game videos, each upload must be free of copyright violations. 

“We are trying to become more social by putting more videos on the web, so copyright is a big thing for us because if we get struck it looks bad on Pius’ image,” Burwell explained.

The process of “protecting St. Pius image,” can be limiting and exhausting at times, the senior staff member explained. Songs chosen for videos must be non-copyrighted material, and choosing from a short supply of songs to fit for a video can be tricky. 

Despite the challenges, Burwell loves many parts of the football hype videos. “I love the integral parts of editing. It’s very fun doing all the little details that help make the whole video better,” he said.

Another challenge Burwell encounters is how time consuming making these videos can be. Burwell said sometimes he is up until 3 in the morning editing and polishing his videos. 

Although the entire production process is fun. Burwell explained that the best part of their assignments is actually watching the videos with the rest of the school.

“[I] always want the football players and other students to feel a certain pride in being a St. Pius student,” he said. 

Senior defensive end and tight end Lawson Schultz said he appreciates their work.

“It’s really cool to see our team as a whole on video and it gets us in the mood to play a game,” he said. 

Senior wide receiver Tommy Serrano agreed.

“It pumps us up to see all of our highlights for the previous games and get us excited to play,” he said. “Also people want to make good plays so they can get in the hype video.”  

So the saying “Thank God it’s Friday” is much more than the end of the school and work week.  Players and fans are also pumped up for the hype videos ahead of the big games.

Check out the Golden Lion Network’s website to learn more about their program.

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The limit of Katie Graebner’s math skills does not exist Thu, 07 Nov 2019 22:52:30 +0000


When looking around Ms. Bowman’s 6th period AP Calculus AB class, one student may seem out of place. Unlike the rest of her class, she’s not allowed to wear a sweatshirt, has never experienced prom, and isn’t even old enough to drive a car. Since most plan to take the course their senior year or even in college, sophomore Katie Graebner is certainly not your average calculus student.

For starters, Graebner doesn’t have a conventional schooling background. Before attending St. Pius X, she was homeschooled for nearly all of elementary and middle school.

‘’My favorite thing about being homeschooled is that I could move at my own pace and that I could sort of sleep in. I didn’t have to wake up really early every morning,” she said. “I also liked how there wasn’t any homework, and it wasn’t as stressful either because we didn’t have official grades.”

I would say [calculus class] is challenging, but it’s not necessarily super hard.”

With more freedom in her schedule, Graebner was able to focus on her strengths. She continues to excel in all of her subjects, but her passion lies with math and science.

“Math has probably always been one of my best subjects. Math just makes sense to me. I really like math and science. I don’t know which one I like better,” she said.

She also credited her parents for instilling a love of math from an early age. Her dad graduated from MIT and is a computer engineer, and her mom used to work in finance.

“They’re definitely math people,” she explained. “If I have any questions [with my math homework] I can go to them because they know how to do it, although they may be a little more rusty. But, they understand it.”

Since Graebner took geometry in 8th grade, she was already taking Algebra II Trigonometry Honors, the most advanced sophomore math class, as a freshman. Because of her outstanding performance, she skipped Honors Analysis, the most advanced junior math class, and went straight into calculus.

While taking an advanced placement calculus class at only 15-years-old is unimaginable for most students, the material is at the perfect level for Graebner.

“I would say [calculus class] is challenging, but it’s not necessarily super hard,” she said. “Sometimes the homework can take a while because there’s just a lot of problems, so it might take me like an hour every night or a little longer.”

Next year she plans on taking AP Calculus BC followed by AP Statistics her senior year. When asked what was her favorite math class so far, she had a hard time deciding.

“Um, I don’t think geometry was my favorite,” she said after thinking for a bit. “I think I like algebra more, like solving for x. I like stuff that’s more complicated. I think it’s more fun when it’s challenging. I really like calculus.”

People talk to me about math a lot. Like, people will come up to me a be like, ‘You’re the sophomore in calculus?’ or I’ll be talking about calculus and they’ll be like, ‘You’re that person?’”

Although she is two years younger than all of her classmates, Graebner enjoys the perks that accompany taking a class with all seniors.

“The best part is getting to meet a ton of new people whom I would have never met otherwise,” she said. “The first week was a little intimidating because everyone knew each other. Even Ms. Bowman [knew all of the students.]”

Graebner said that at first, no one really seemed to even realize that she was the only student who wasn’t a senior.

“I don’t know how fast they noticed, but no one said anything about it for the first few weeks,” she explained. Then one day, “they were like, ‘You’re a sophomore, right?’ because they were talking about a class or something. They almost seemed less surprised than my friends did.”

Graebner started making a name for herself around school once word began to spread that a sophomore was taking an AP math class.

“People talk to me about math a lot. Like, people will come up to me a be like, ‘You’re the sophomore in calculus?’ or I’ll be talking about calculus and they’ll be like, ‘You’re that person?'” she said with a laugh. “It’s a little bit surprising that people care so much about which math class I’m taking. I don’t know if I necessarily think that it’s quite as incredible as the rest of the school seems to think because to me, it’s just a class that’s at my level.”

Due to her proficiency in calculus, Graebner hopes to attend the Governor’s Honors Program for mathematics at Berry College over the summer. Just like most high school sophomores, though, she’s still unsure about her future career.

“I haven’t thought about it a lot, and what I have thought about hasn’t been super serious, but I think it would be cool to pursue something related to STEM [science, technology, engineering, and math] and then find a job related to that,” she explained.

With a quiet and humble sweetness that’s as noteworthy as her math skills, the seniors in Ms. Bowman’s 6th period AP Calculus AB class are proud to call Katie Graebner a classmate and friend.

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MarioKart Tour burns out in the App Store Thu, 07 Nov 2019 14:07:12 +0000 It’s the final lap, and you’ve dodged bananas, shells, and obstacles the whole race. With the finish line in sight, you hear the disheartening whoosh of a blue shell knocking you out of first place. Finishing in second, you see テイタートットon the top of the podium. Which of your friends would be rude enough to dethrone you? More importantly, which of your friends is fluent in Japanese?

Oh, that’s right, テイタートット is some computer-generated Bowser because the ability to race with your friends isn’t yet available on MarioKart Tour.

With over ten million downloads on its first day, MarioKart Tour surpassed Pokemon Go in the record books of mobile gaming. The new single-player racing game may seem revolutionary but in actuality, it is far from flawless. 

“I don’t understand the numbers. Everyone is a sheep,” senior Mitchell Maloney said, dismissing the game’s supremacy in the AppStore.

Heavily relying on the clout provided by its creator, Nintendo, the first edition of the MarioKart series to be playable as an app doesn’t deliver much in its gameplay.

Flooded with in-app purchases, the game revolves around the premise of the more you play, the better you are. With gems, coins, and multiple other currencies, each player is tempted every minute of play. To upgrade abilities or unlock new courses, rubies can be purchased with real money, with prices ranging from $1.99 to $69.99 

In addition to gems and coins, most of the features that made MarioKart fun and exciting, such as colorful karts and creatively designed characters, cost a pretty penny; they’re only accessible with the gold pass, a monthly $5.00 subscription.

“The gold pass is gross at best, price gouging at worst,” senior Witt Hollensbe commented. “We should probably socialize the MarioKart game, treat it as a public utility I mean. What did we expect when we let big corporations like Nintendo start commercializing art?”

Hollensbe wasn’t alone in his criticism. Racing computers rather than friends anger many OG gamers, as the original MarioKart game’s key appeal to many consumers was its status as a multiplayer game.  MarioKart Wii turned a video gaming in your living room into a competitive event pitting friends and families against each other as shells are thrown and the rubber hits the Rainbow Road.

“It’s not the same as the old days. I was nationally ranked and now I’m not even playing. That shows you how much I don’t like it,” Maloney added.

Maloney is not shy from voicing his opinions, however. 

“I waited for MarioKart to go mobile for two years and now it’s not at all what I expected. I’m planning a march in DC and we’re asking Trump to put trade sanctions on Japan until they fix it. Okay, not actually, but I just wish they would make the phone act as the steering wheel. Is that too much to ask?” Maloney pleaded. “I MEAN WALUIGI ISN’T EVEN IN IT”

Other students actually love the game, however.

“I think it’s pretty fun. It is easy and relaxing as every race doesn’t have to be a nailbiter,” sophomore Claire Gannon said.

Races are only two laps, something different than the original game. Some love this, others, not so much. 

The game is already losing players daily as the hype surrounding the game is dying out. Eventually, the game will become irrelevant as all do, but due to drastic differences from its origin, probably sooner than expected.

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